Venting is a form of verbal purgatory. So are envy, resentment, jealousy, and ruminating regret. All are forms of wishing, which create our own chaotic internal dust storms.
Get out of your hamster-wheel head & into your Self, your essence, via your body, through your senses. Start by mindfully breathing. Feel the oxygen come into your lungs and release it, going deeply into your body. Commit to self-love & refind your true Self. Calm your busy brain & stop your busyness, or you’ll have headaches, migraines, sleep troubles, or stomach problems.
Your Self is your home.
Go inside. To you. Your Self is your comfort. Not venting. Move into the light of relief, allowing your emotions w/ kindness toward your situation, i.e. “I feel anxious” & then move into a place of motivation to do something different out of compassion.
Notice, “This is part of what I do when I’m fearful.” Break the chains, the old patterns. Leap out of purgatory by allowing what you feel w/o judgments, then re-set, re-align. You’ll find new ways of operating if you allow what IS. You’ll feel more content in your life.
My clients frequently tell me about family members or friends they love who over-vent to them, and how exhausting it is. Their loved ones share too much too frequently. But because they love them they don’t necessarily tell them. It’s hard for them to say what they want to, “ I can’t really hear about this right now,” or set boundaries.
So, prevent resentment and fallout. Stop over-sharing. For your own sake and theirs. Only bring up a concerning subject every few days, and for a much shorter amount of time.
In the meanwhile, allow your feelings, self-soothe, go inside and feel your emotions, breathing into them. Relax into the what-is of your situation, instead of trying to fight it with your mind and your words. Sit with the discomfort instead of venting.
Do your own work to process the person or situation you’re concerned about. Your partner or best friend will be more receptive to hear about your concerns if you use bullet points, brevity, and come out from the muck with some of the guidance you’ve received from within. When you do talk about things, they won’t be inwardly rolling their eyes. They’ll be open, wanting to hear what you have to say & glad to offer solace or guidance.
Don’t take the fun out of your best relationship with your husband, wife or friend by venting about work or someone you’re worried about incessantly! Instead, commit to re-finding your own inner strength. Go inside to your Self, and self-soothe with Presence.
Venting is a habit that makes us lazy. We spout off here & there during emotional whims to our receptive, caring loved ones. Because they are kind , they listen; but we are taking advantage of their gracious ears.
Instead, prioritize. Do your own work first. Then once you’ve sorted out two or three specific things you feel you must share, your friend or loved one will be more ready to listen.
Presence is always available and never tires of hearing your stories, fears, worries, or judgments. Presence is strong, and uncannily insightful. You’ll discover wisdom and clarity you didn’t know you had by going deeply inside, instead of hoping that you’ll get support & answers from someone else by venting.
The comfort you long for is in your soul. The answers you seek can and will come from you.
Your soul is weary from drama. It wants to help you more than anyone else.
Your Self is your best, yet least sought after, guide.
Change your old pattern and turn to your own best friend , your essence. Talk to your spirit. Listen, too.
Find peace & consolation from your own inner guide.